I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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