So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize