covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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