that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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