You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
