You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
