Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
