I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
