also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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