the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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