You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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