NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
