I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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