you guys were way drunker than both of me
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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