Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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