Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
