dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize