butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
