She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
