Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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