I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My dick has a subreddit
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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