Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
