Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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