...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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