So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
