the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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