but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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