the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
