He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize