We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
