i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
