This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
