OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
