life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
