He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
