hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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