Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize