the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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