it hurts more in the daytime
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
