i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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