ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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