Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
