Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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