I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
