Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
