Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
