I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
