we have pet lesbian snakes
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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