Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
