youre lurking in front of me
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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