you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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