Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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