Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize