take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
