Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
