How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
