Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
