Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
