The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
